Tantra is my passion and I think Tantra4GayMen is brilliant.
I've meditated and been interested in yoga all my adult life and I always knew something about Tantra. I bought a Margo Anand book a couple of years before I discovered Tantra4GayMen and got put off because it was all about men and women. When I discovered Tantra4GayMen and Jason said you could do all this and be a gay men, it was a defining moment - something I'd been looking for all my life.
Tantra has completely changed the way I see myself. I have much more sexual confidence, I have discovered my energy body in a way I thought I could only dream of and it has connected me to other realms. It's been such a deep and profound spiritual journey and has clarified what feels like my purpose in life. It's given me the passion to create and work with my art.
Practising Tantra has given me a much clearer awareness of my own other people's energy bodies. I now understand how my energy body relates to other people. For example, feeling and seeing other people respond to the energy of my heart chakra has been a wonderful experience. Quite often when I'm naked and hugging people, they say, 'oh my god your energy is amazing Mike' and it's my heart energy they are feeling. They are seeing beyond the physical.
I've also experienced seeing beyond the physical many times – I've often felt the presence of energy beings, my power animal (a tiger) and angelic guides.
All that is a wonderful experience, but Tantra has also very much changed how I am in the world and my experience of every day life. I now experience how if I put my desire out there, it comes back to me. By being in the moment and not trying to make something happen, it just seems to come. For example, I never used to get any men approaching me on Gaydar. Now not only do I get approached all the time, but they are the men of my sexual fantasies!
Tantra has opened up my sexuality and as it has become clearer, I found people responding to me sexually and what I wanted seemed to happen.
And that is now not just happening in sex, but increasingly in all areas of my life - not always in the way I expected, but it is happening. I've recently set up my own consultancy business and I have endless streams of work. I haven't had to market myself at all. I haven't found money so easy to manifest – I'm running an art business which requires a lot of expensive outlay, but despite that, money has always turned up when I've needed it.
My creativity has really bloomed from practising Tantra. Art was always a hobby for me, but I found it difficult to find subject matter that I felt passionately about. I felt a bit lost about it. After the Introduction to Tantra course with Jason, I made some fairly profound decisions. I decided to leave my well paid job and go back into consultancy work to give myself time to build up my work as an artist and see if it would work as a business.
Tantra has given me the inspiration I was looking for in art and creating the Tantric artwork has grounded Tantra into my body and my life. I wrote a vision statement after my first Tantra course, stating how my life will be in the future. It said that I want to set up and lead but not manage a community arts project. Within two months someone had approached me to apply for the chair of Bedford Creative Arts and I was appointed to this voluntary post. It's been great for helping me to develop my art, I work with other artists, and help other artists to bloom. I don't think that would have happened if I hadn't changed my vision and taken the risk to go for what I wanted to do with my life.
I think what Tantra does is that it gives you the confidence and belief in yourself so you are then successful. It takes away the constraints that you put on yourself to be successful. You change the way you think about your world and you empower yourself. And it's happening on a spiritual as well as a worldly level.
There's been some rocky times with my partner. He's not interested in Tantra and we nearly divorced over me going on a Tantra course last year. But as I have changed and accepted him for who he is, we are now are having a lovely relationship. It's not Tantric but it is a great relationship, we are brothers. He has accepted more that I can do Tantra with other people and still be with him.
Sex & Fantasy was the last in the series of diploma courses for me. I felt the power and solar plexus chakra came last for a reason. I've always felt that I needed to work with power and fear. What it was really very clearly about for me was having the courage to be able to go with your desires and create what you want in the world – not just in sex, but in all areas of life.
I felt an incredible building of sexual and spiritual energy throughout the course and experienced many lovely connections. For me there was lots of letting go through sound. I gained some lovely understandings and awareness of the solar plexus and how my power works - how I can use the solar plexus to manifest things in the world.
I had an experience of how my body is holding fear and I was able to let fear go in my physical body. From this my energy flowed beautifully in a way it hadn't done before. It was the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle for me. I'd had a two and a half year energy body deep clean and this completed it on a physical level. I came out of the course feeling complete. I felt the energies of all the people and experiences of my whole diploma course journey passing through me on the last day and felt such gratitude and completion. I had a lovely, lovely time, a beautiful time of people giving to and enjoying each other.
Usually when I get back from a Tantra course I am quite spaced out and it takes me a while to come down. Really unusually, this time when I got home I was totally energised, totally grounded and amazingly focused on what I wanted to achieve in life. When I went on the course I was feeling quite tired and not able to cope. Now I am much more in the flow and things are happening as they need. I'm enjoying taking things as they come. Normally my partner ignores me when I get back but he was really positive, as was everyone in my family. I felt the world was responding to me in a very positive way because I was feeling really positive and not fearful!
For me, Tantra allows you to do what you want to do in the world and live what you want to live without fear holding you back.
Love Mike, April - 2012